I read this journal the other day, and I felt like I just wanted to post it without unpacking it because, after 9 years of writing it, I still feel the same way.
I love the fact God loves me unconditionally, and he is still so kind to me when I am so undeserving of his grace.
I still need God at the centre of my life to keep me on his right path. In the space of 9 years, I have experienced God’s beautiful plan, and I still believe the best is yet to come.
I am also in awe of the people that God has placed in my life to encourage me on this journey of faith and enjoy life together. The perfect example is my church mothers group which has been such a gift from God! It is the most amazing support network for me during this season of motherhood. It has also challenged me to be vulnerable and openly share my journey, which is a foreign concept that I am still learning.
And I am still learning that I continually need to trust God with who I am because he defines who I am in Christ. My worth is found in Christ alone and not through this world, what I have, what I can do or what I look like either. It has honestly taken some serious amount of time to understand God’s love for me and who he says I am.
I had a moment recently where I cried out to God to help me with the fear of failure in regards to competing again in an upcoming competition. The pending outcome/result of my event will allow me the opportunity to compete internationally. I have also felt overwhelmed because I am a full-time stay at home mother amateur competing against full-time professional athletes who have competed at the Olympics.
This week has not been ideal. I have been unwell for the first time in 6 months, my baby girl has been unwell with gastro, my sleep pattern has been off, my training this week has not been tracking well. In fact, I clocked my slowest time today in 18 weeks of training. It was 7 seconds slower than my personal best and 5 seconds slower than what I regularly do in my training sessions, and I am only 3 days out from my competition.
However, in the midst of it all, I experienced Gods supernatural peace today to not be disheartened and that he wanted me to enjoy my training/journey because it is an act of trusting him in this space of my life.
‘Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”Joshua 1:9
I am holding on to this verse because I know God will be with me. I also know in Isaiah 41:10 that he will strengthen me and help me out with my competition because he will hold me in his righteous right hand.
I believe the most beautiful part of this journal is after 9 years of writing it is that I am still truly happy with everything in my life today because of God’s love for me.
Love G x